Pass the Brain Bleach
by Jean Cooper
Summary: Doug is surprised when the local chicken farmer shows up and demands a strong drink. Why would Rick need a drink?


I was having trouble writing, and saw this in the writing game thread at the village square forum. I give you…crack humor I guess, o-o.

I don't own Harvest Moon.

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Rick came into the bar, Karen-less at that. That was odd enough to Doug, the owner of the Inn and drunken loitering destination. But he seemed…upset. He slowly walked up to the bar, and plopped down, his head immediately slamming onto the bar, glasses falling uselessly to the side.

"Pour me something tall and strong," he demanded flatly, and Doug immediately obliged, Rick not being one to drink very often…well never actually.

"What's the problem son?" Doug asked, his gruff voice coming out soft and curious.

"I've just seen something no one should ever see," he muttered and downed the drink.

"What son?"

"She's supposed to be my girlfriend, right Doug?" he asked wearily, looking at Doug for reassurance.

"Karen? She is…" Doug stated, and wondered if that new farmer down the road had taken a liking to Miss Karen. He'd have to talk to Sasha and Jeff about it later.

"I walked in on them Doug. Right there…in my house," he muttered, his eyes closed. "Goddess where is the brain bleach?" He cried suddenly, downing the rest of his drink.

Rick couldn't get the image out of his head…naked limbs folded over one another, hands in indecent areas and clothes strewn everywhere. They hadn't even noticed they'd been caught. Karen had been the one pinning the other to the wall.

"You…walked in on them doing the deed?" Doug asked softly, his eyes widened. Rick glanced around the empty bar and nodded, tears forming in his eyes.

"Goddess I can't get the image out of my head. I never wanted to see them that way, ever," he cried, trying to shake the remaining liquor from the inside of his glass so it would make its way to his tongue. Perhaps if he got drunk enough he could forget about it.

The door to the inn opened quietly, and that wasn't anything new. However, the person who had opened said door quietly never ever did so, so that was reason for Doug to raise yet another curious eyebrow as the young woman came and plopped down next to Rick, resting her head on her arms so her face was obscured by her mass of pink hair.

"Rick…we…we don't have to go home tonight do we?" She asked weakly, looking up at her older brother for an answer. He simply glared at the grain of the wood of the counter.

"I'm not going back home…you…can do whatever you want Popuri. Right now…I just don't care. Go off and see Kai, run away and marry him for all I care," he muttered out and Popuri perked up some, before letting out a depressed sigh.

"It would figure it would be the middle of fall when you would say something like that. I always knew when you went temporarily insane and gave me permission Kai wouldn't be around," she stood up and smiled at Doug.

"Sorry about Rick. We…both just saw something that we didn't want to," she whispered softly, twirling a strand of pink hair around her finger.

Doug nodded and made Poprui some chocolate milk, and she happily took it. Poor thing, if they walked in on Karen and Jack, they were both heartbroken. Everyone in town knew that Popuri was growing more fond of the brunette farmer that had moved in and was more than happy to accompany her to festivals when her beloved Kai wasn't around.

The door to the inn opened again, and Jack entered, his face solemn as he approached the bar, mirroring the exact posture and expression Rick had came in with. Doug was about to scold him, tell him to leave poor Rick alone to lick his wounds, but then Jack sat down next to Rick, demanding something tall and strong.

"Rick…" Jack began, after he downed half of his drink. Rick grunted in response, and Jack looked into his drink as if it held the answers. "I just saw more of Karen than I ever wanted to see in my life…" he said softly, causing Doug to blanch. If…Karen and Jack weren't together, than who was Karen doing the deed with?

"Yeah…" Rick muttered out, his grip on his glass tightening.

"I know it hurts man…but when you get ready, I have a cousin that would love to meet you. Pretty, blonde…and not…whatever you want to call Karen right now. Talked to her about you a lot since I moved here…" he trailed off as Rick shot him an evil glare, saying 'shut up before I stab you with a spork.'

"It'll be awhile before he wants to meet Claire…after what happened today. I never would have thought that about Karen." Popuri whispered, walking over and hugging Jack. "It was awful Jack!" Jack rubbed her back soothingly and nodded.

"I saw it too. Came straight here." After a few minutes Popuri walked away and Jack stared at Rick, a small grin coming over his face. Rick felt him starring and turned to him expectantly.

"What?" he asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

"Dude…your mom is hot," Jack chuckled and Rick turned red. Doug dropped the glass he'd been cleaning and gaped at them.

"Shut up Jack!"

"Not my fault…obviously Karen thinks so too…" he muttered, a bemused expression on his face as Rick's glass whizzed right by his head, Rick not having good aim due to his absent glasses.

Doug sat there, pondering over what had happened. Rick…had walked in…on his girlfriend…and his mother? Goddess the poor boy. He immediately poured him another drink, and swatted Jack with his wet towel.


End file.
